Well, I had the most terrifying conversation of my life today. And this is the only place I can post it where she won't read it...

Religion with the Mormon Mother-in-law. Dear Goth that was scary. I am still trembling and jumpy.

I have never told her that I am a Satanist (mind you, she believes that they sacrifice goats and won't listen to reason otherwise) thus that convo will be a bit more frightening than this one. But she now knows that I don't like religion and don't worship or have faith because of that.

This conversation started with talk about the ark and Noah's flood. I stated my skepticism about the flood, seeing as I'm skeptical of religion in general, and found the whole idea illogical. The flood was brought up because she theorizes that unicorns don't exist because of the flood - they didn't want on the ark and went to the ice caps to become narwhals or some bullshit, cutesy excuse like that.

So she and my fiance just hammered me with "proof" of the flood and the ark. That they found the boat (usually a person would link this information, but I don't feel like looking it up because I'm so damn jumpy right now) that fit the measurements of the ark in scripture, that there were Blue Whale bones on top of a mountain. I claimed, once more, that I am terrified and skeptical of religion.

Well, to make a long story short, I cannot possibly be a worse person than I am already, because I am close-minded toward Theistic religion. Even if I were a cokewhore, abused my spouse and children, raped, pillaged, hurt, stole, committed adultery - I could not be worse because I am close minded. I even brought these things up and she confirmed this.

I have a best friend that is gay, my big brother is bi. I am friends with people of ALL religions, I'm even marrying someone that believes in God, while I do not. So long as you're not trying to force me to do something I don't want to - I'm fine with you.

I believe myself to be a good person. I'm polite, friendly, respectful, and I'm interesting when given time to come out of the more shy shell I use when meeting new people. Am I so terrible just because the things religion causes terrifies me so much that I avoid it?

My favorite quote of the night, which also brings to mind scary possibilities for the future, "What would it take to get you to read scripture?" - my mother-in-law

In response I kind of laughed and said that it would take a Hell of a lot. Now I'm thinking that she might try to find some mindfuck of a reason to get me to like "You can't marry my son unless you read the Mormon bible."

Even if I don't know a lot about her religion - which, apparently doesn't share the same stories as EVERY OTHER FUCKING BRANCH OF CHRISTIANITY (we argued over this, believe me) - I know enough to know that I want no part of it.

Religion is scary and mindless to me. I'm a Satanist - we don't worship, we have no God, we live life as best we can and give respect where it is due.

I also feel kinda bad that, at first, Nathaniel was on her side. But I've mostly gotten over that, especially since he was sorta defending me and trying to get her to shut the fuck up earlier than she did.

I'm not a bad person...

So why does she make me feel like I deserve to die?

LET ME ENLIGHTEN YOU
THIS IS THE WAY I PRAY

LIVING JUST ISN'T HARD ENOUGH
BURN ME ALIVE INSIDE
LIVING MY LIFE'S NOT HARD ENOUGH
TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY